10 Tips to Avoiding a Ghastly Halloween
I’m not talking about trick-or-treating, I’m talking about Information Security. (Hooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-haa-haa-haa-haa-haa)
- Wear a well-fitting outfit – If your costume doesn’t fit, or if it makes you sweat or gives you a rash, you’re going to end up taking parts of it off. Then you’ll spend the rest of the night explaining what you are and possibly forfeiting bounty. There’s no point in getting into something that you’re not going to use, it wastes time, money and energy, and you pretty much get nothing out of it. Your security program should fit like a catsuit. Black.
- If you see something, say something – Too often we’re hesitant to make the call when we see something that’s out of place or just doesn’t feel right. As human beings we are programmed to not get involved, but done appropriately it can help prevent problems from occurring. It might be a ghost, it might be an intruder. Be safe, not sorry.
- Stay away from dark houses – In the best case you’re wasting your time, in the worst case you’ll end up wandering into a bad place. There’s plenty of low-hanging candy out there, don’t get distracted by the latest curiosity. We all know what curiosity did to the cat.
- Use sidewalks and driveways – If you’re cutting across lawns or jumping fences because you think you’re going to make better time, chances are decent that you’ll end up in an open septic tank. Or a drainage ditch. Or getting caught on a pole. Shortcuts rarely are, that’s why we have standards. Stick to lighted streets and pathways. And trust me on the septic tank thing.
- Know your route – Have a plan and stick to it, but remember that your plan should account for change. If the police have closed Lincoln Drive off because someone egged Mr. Goldman’s place, be prepared to take Washington. It may get messy out there and there are no guarantees. Review your plan regularly to maximize your progress.
- Don’t walk those streets alone – Strength comes in numbers. Find people to go with you on this harrowing journey, chances are they’ll know something about the streets you’re walking and they’ll help you avoid traps that you would have fallen into otherwise. It’ll be more fun, too. And don’t be afraid to call for help if you see trouble, there are experts out there that specialize in dealing with problems.
- Check your candy before eating it – This one seems obvious, but when something is given to us we’re usually so excited we just can’t wait to open it up. Once it’s opened it’s too late, and it usually ends up installing a rootkit and stealing our banking credentials. Or giving us a toothache. Don’t judge that candy by its wrapper, and don’t even take it if it’s not coming from a trusted source. The apple from Mrs. McGillicutty is probably fine, but I wouldn’t touch that popcorn-ball-thing you got from Old Man Haversham.
- Don’t talk to strangers – There are a lot of bad people out there, and they do bad things. They’ll take your candy. They’ll even take that popcorn-ball-thing you got from Old Man Haversham. Only get involved with people you trust. If you’re going to be spending time with them, you should know where they come from, what they do for a living and if they’ve had a vendor risk assessment from a trusted security provider.
- Pace yourself – Running from house to house will only wear you out, and chowing a bag full of Reese’s will make you sick. It’s going to be a long night, and the successful will recognize that this is a continuous process. Ring door bell, collect candy, run to next house, repeat. Master your pace, master your success. Stick to your security priorities. Do too much at once and you’ll just end up exhausted and nauseous.
- Enjoy – Too many of us are heads down in the mission and we forget to stop and smell the candy corn. It’s not just about collecting the biggest bag of candy, it’s about the experience. Yes, we all have a serious job to do, but we won’t be able to take it seriously if we don’t love what we do. So love it. Eat it like candy.